1) Home visits are done and Home study is complete!
2) Found out that two of the Dossier steps were "if applicable" and it turns out that our state does not require our Dossier to be County Clerk certified or U.S. Dept of State Authenticated. YEAH!! Less steps means done sooner! Super stoked!
Okay so I guess the "lots" in lots of good thing to report, doesn't seem like a "lot" but it sure feels that way!!
So last week Thursday evening we welcomed our Social Worker into our home for the 1st home study visit. We both realized after less than a minute that we had nothing to worry about. She was great and super nice. Easy to talk to and easy going. She met Joel and Tyler right away as they were by the door when she came in. And then Dylan made a grand appearance by riding down the banister from upstairs. haha! And how did she react? She thought that was pretty cool and could he do it again?? Yup, so happy with her!
So we first showed her around the house which went fine. I cleaned out my cupboard under the kitchen sink for nothing, she didn't even look there! Our master bathroom has never been cleaner or this tidy and she just did a quick peek. It was such a disappointment, I almost told her that we were actually going to have coffee in the bathroom. haha! All joking aside, it went really well. We sat down and sent the boys off to watch a movie, then she just talked to Ryan and I. We talked a lot about Anna and our expectations, what we knew about her special need, what research we've done, how the boys are with it all, other extended family members, she had a lot of great advice for us as well as good book recommendations. She told us that she could tell within 5 minutes of meeting us that we were great. She said she just wanted to help us get Anna home ASAP and that she would work hard to do her part. She told us that she could tell we'd done lots of research, that we knew what we are getting into and she was impressed with how fast we've gotten all the paperwork done. Have I mentioned yet that we like her???
Well then the boys appeared because the movie was over and they were hungry (go figure!) so she suggested that she just quickly talk to Joel and Tyler now so she wouldn't have to on Friday. (day off school) So they sat down and she just asked them some simple questions. It was cute how they answered. We just told them beforehand to answer truthfully. And they did. I can't say that they were overly talkative though. Oh well. haha!
Then she wanted to speak with Ryan privately so I went off with the boys to watch more T.V. Around 10pm she left. We sighed with relief. Ryan told me a little of what they talked about. He said that she asked him how my mom died. She noticed that we had both said (in our autobiographies) that it was the most difficult thing we as a couple had to deal with. I never mentioned in my autobiography how she died though. Not something I like to talk about. If someone doesn't ask, I don't tell. Just writing down the date she died in my autobiography was hard enough. This was the thing I was most dreading about the Home visit. So, she was shocked. And I hardly slept that night, just dreading talking about it the next day. What would she ask, how would I answer? Would I be able to keep it together?
We agreed since she already interviewed the boys that we would meet at a coffee shop in the morning. We talked for an hour and a half. We talked about my epilepsy, talked about the miscarriages and losing Luke. And we talked about my mom. She was very sympathetic. And she asked some tough questions. How had her death changed me?? Yeah, poor Ryan, only 8 months after marrying me ended up with a different wife. Forever changed. (and not all for the bad) Opened up some wounds, some deeper than others. It left me emotionally and mentally drained. Like I'd been sucked dry. At one point she said, "Wow, you've been through a lot" While that may be true, there are plenty of others that have been through a lot too, and a lot more than me. I am thankful for everything I haven't had to go through. There is so much going on around the world right now, this is all small potatoes in comparison. All in all, I really like our Social Worker, and we are very thankful how well it all went. We feel she is on our side and will work hard to help us. She also encouraged us and she mentioned that because we've experienced loss, we will be able to relate to Anna more. Though our losses are completely different it will help us to be more empathetic and understanding towards her.
I went home, relieved it was over. I was so tired though. And the guilt started to try to pull me down. The guilt, just waiting there for me. To one day be free forever of fighting off the guilt is a day I look forward to. Everyone's got stuff. I just don't know how people get through it without God. I really don't.
So what are we doing now?? Waiting.....for our Social Worker to finish writing her report on us. For paperwork to come back from Olympia so we can send it off to San Francisco. For our marriage certificate to come back from Ottawa so we can send it off to 3 different places in Washington DC. So yeah, checking the mail ALOT! And we are still working on getting our Family life photos done. Who knew that getting eight pictures of us with other people would be so hard. Also waiting for our family to be completely healthy again. Joel just got over it and now Tyler is down. It's a long one too. High fever with cough. Fun times!
We are so thankful for all the love and support we have received from family and friends. It is so encouraging. We feel very blessed! It's so needed, especially when you get comments from others that are not so encouraging or they are just rude and hurtful. Even though it may only be a couple of comments, it's amazing how it can really ruin your day. So it's good to remember that there have been way more encouraging words than not.
Dylan loves his angry birds, and he love taking pictures of them too.
He took over 20 pictures of them last week. Good thing I noticed before downloading them onto the computer.
