Yesterday we went down to Seattle for our biometrics that we needed to get done for our citizenship. Before that 12:00 app, we went to the Bethany office in Seattle to talk to Amy about all of our concerns and questions. We spent just over an hour with her and she was able to answer all of our questions. She told us about the special focus children and some of the medical conditions. She talked about all the different steps we needed to take. She gave us an estimated time line. We really liked her and felt comfortable with her right away. Which is good since she will be the one doing our home study. We asked if there was anything we could do now while we waited for our citizenship. We are able to do some training now, which is nice. Feels good to know we can do something while we wait. We left feeling very excited about it all and ready to get things moving.
While we were driving we talked about our meeting and our excitement about going to China to bring our child home. Was she already born? What would be good names, where would she sleep? All those things that make it all so real. We need to prepare ourselves for a very busy 2014, with lots of paperwork and home studies. And possibly going to China in 2015, which seems impossibly far away but not really. Would we take the boys with us to China? Could we bear to leave them for that long? Wouldn't it be a good experience for them? How would we handle the time change? Why am I thinking about these things now??? One step at a time. First is training. We will register for that and work on it. I have no idea what to expect. I feel like I've already read all the books about adopting and adopting from China. Watched every documentary about adopting from China. I am sure there is still more to learn. I don't feel like we are going into this blind or naive as to what is all involved and how hard and daunting it will be at times. That all kinda freaks me out. One day at a time and lots of prayer!! He will provide!! Of that we must be certain!
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Friday, November 8, 2013
Getting it down
Where to start?? I've always had a heart for orphans. I remember watching those programs on T.V. where they show stories of children that are poor and malnourished and giving people the opportunity to sponsor them. I wanted to save them all!! Of course I couldn't and it was not my place to save anybody. That is only Gods doing. Before me and Ryan got married and we discussed the possibility of being infertile and if we would adopt. We were both in agreement that we would, me not even giving it a second thought. Well the Lord blessed us with children, four boys and three babies that we did not get to meet, (not yet anyway). Our fourth boy Luke is also waiting for us in Heaven. To say life has been a walk in the park would be an understatement. We've had some rough patches.
.This is the order of our children: Joel, baby loss number 1, Tyler, Dylan, baby loss number 2, baby loss number 3 (Luke), baby loss number 4. After baby loss number 2, Ryan went out with a friend for coffee and he asked Ryan if he'd ever considered adoption. Ryan admitted that we had discussed it and that I was all for it, but he was hesitant. He left with something to think about, though he wasn't willing to jump on that boat.
We got pregnant with Luke and the idea of adoption was put on the back burner. We lost our son one day shy of me being 18 weeks pregnant. I read alot of books after that about loss and grieving. One was from Mary Beth Chapman. The book talked a lot about adoption. So I brought up the idea with Ryan and he was opening up to it some more. We talked about it quite a bit, and discussed it with another couple who had done it before. It was becoming more of a possibility of something we would pursue, but we needed time to heal first. Then we got pregnant again and once more it was put on the back burner, though one evening I did say to Ryan, "this doesn't have to change anything, we can still adopt". He just looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head, so I let it go. Well then our hearts were broken was again ( though who are we kidding, will they ever be wholly mended here on
earth? My heart will always be scarred as long as I'm alive) so they we were once again in the bottom of the pit, with only God keeping us upright. Fast forward a few months and we started to talk about adoption again. Ryan was the pusher this time. I was a little taken aback that he was not only on board but ready to paddle.
Ryan got in touch with an adoption agency in the spring and we set a date to go to an information
evening. We got a ton of info and lots to think about. Which way did we want to go. Domestic?
International? I knew where my heart was, Ryan wasn't so sure. We had some talking and praying to do. We would let God lead us. And He sure did!!
.This is the order of our children: Joel, baby loss number 1, Tyler, Dylan, baby loss number 2, baby loss number 3 (Luke), baby loss number 4. After baby loss number 2, Ryan went out with a friend for coffee and he asked Ryan if he'd ever considered adoption. Ryan admitted that we had discussed it and that I was all for it, but he was hesitant. He left with something to think about, though he wasn't willing to jump on that boat.
We got pregnant with Luke and the idea of adoption was put on the back burner. We lost our son one day shy of me being 18 weeks pregnant. I read alot of books after that about loss and grieving. One was from Mary Beth Chapman. The book talked a lot about adoption. So I brought up the idea with Ryan and he was opening up to it some more. We talked about it quite a bit, and discussed it with another couple who had done it before. It was becoming more of a possibility of something we would pursue, but we needed time to heal first. Then we got pregnant again and once more it was put on the back burner, though one evening I did say to Ryan, "this doesn't have to change anything, we can still adopt". He just looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head, so I let it go. Well then our hearts were broken was again ( though who are we kidding, will they ever be wholly mended here on
earth? My heart will always be scarred as long as I'm alive) so they we were once again in the bottom of the pit, with only God keeping us upright. Fast forward a few months and we started to talk about adoption again. Ryan was the pusher this time. I was a little taken aback that he was not only on board but ready to paddle.
Ryan got in touch with an adoption agency in the spring and we set a date to go to an information
evening. We got a ton of info and lots to think about. Which way did we want to go. Domestic?
International? I knew where my heart was, Ryan wasn't so sure. We had some talking and praying to do. We would let God lead us. And He sure did!!
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Around every corner
The beginning of the summer was when we decided adoption was definitely something we wanted to do and felt we were being called as well. But we still had to make some decisions and of course I was very unsure some days if this was really what we were supposed to do. Maybe it was me trying to fill a hole, thinking doing this would heal our broken hearts. Was I being realistic as to what I could handle? Maybe considering my medical issues we shouldn't do it. What would happen if I die, then Ryan would be alone in this. Thoughts I just couldn't turn off, but I would argue them. God would help us, He is the one in control, can we ignore this tug at our hearts to provide a home for an orphan? Why would God put this on our hearts if we weren't supposed do anything with it.
The second week after school got out the boys had swimming lessons. Tyler had two adopted children in his class. One day I got the opportunity to talk to the mom about it. She took the time to tell me all about their experiences with it. They had four bio kids before they adopted so I was very interested in talking to her about that.
While I was getting my hair done the stylist beside us was talking about her recently adopted children. I started to go to physio and my second visit my physiotherapist mentioned that her two boys were adopted. Someone else to talk to. It came up every time I visited her after that. By this time Ryan had told me that he thought we should go with International and try for a girl from China. This was where I felt we should go but I didn't push it on Ryan, told him that we should just keep praying about what avenue to take.
For our anniversary Ryan took me to a restaurant where 8 people sit around the cook who cooks up your food in front of you. We sat down and wondered who we would end up sharing our dinner with. Well in walked a family with five kids and one of them an adopted little girl. We saw them and watched in awe as they were seated beside us. We were both speechless. Was it any more clear to us what we were supposed to do? We ended up talking to this couple for an hour about their experience. They gave us their names and number if we had anymore questions. They were Christians as well (and not even Lyndenites!) .
We went to an adoptions info evening in the middle of all this. We filled out a pre application form from Bethany Christian Services and they told us we were very qualified. They gave us a list of the countries we were eligible for. China was on the list! We told them we were definitely interested in China. We were then given a more elaborate application to fill out for China. We filled out and they came back to us and told us that my epilepsy might pose some problems. China is very fussy when it comes to anything medical. They want the parents to be perfectly healthy and not on any prescription drugs. Bethany told us to prevent heartache to get a letter from my Doctor stating that I was perfectly healthy enough to take care of a child. (Hello! I had three boys that I take care of every day) the letter was sent to Bethany China Team in China. Since they deal with The CCCWA every day they could give us a pretty good idea how they would respond to our application. We heard back the next day with not very good news. They said it was highly unlikely we would get a child from China. The only way was if we were open to special focus children (older and higher needs). We were devastated and confused. If we felt called to go to China why was this not going well. I was so certain my epilepsy would not be an issue. I assumed wrong. Maybe God wasn't calling us to China, maybe we had to look at other countries and options. Maybe this meant we shouldn't adopt. Everything was uncertain again. Just when we felt we knew exactly where to go. We decided to leave it all alone for a while. I just didn't want to think or talk about it.
After a couple of weeks we decided we still felt called to do SOMETHING. We went over some other options but none of them really felt right. I started looking into special focus children and what it was all about and how serious we're these medical issues. Meanwhile we kept on praying. After doing research we decided that a lot of these medical issues weren't as scary as we thought and could be managed. I also kept reminding myself that I too was a special focus child. :)
That brings us to now. We have agreed to look into receiving a special focus child if China will accept our application. We are meeting with Bethany's International rep in Seattle next week Wed, to discuss all of this.
The second week after school got out the boys had swimming lessons. Tyler had two adopted children in his class. One day I got the opportunity to talk to the mom about it. She took the time to tell me all about their experiences with it. They had four bio kids before they adopted so I was very interested in talking to her about that.
While I was getting my hair done the stylist beside us was talking about her recently adopted children. I started to go to physio and my second visit my physiotherapist mentioned that her two boys were adopted. Someone else to talk to. It came up every time I visited her after that. By this time Ryan had told me that he thought we should go with International and try for a girl from China. This was where I felt we should go but I didn't push it on Ryan, told him that we should just keep praying about what avenue to take.
For our anniversary Ryan took me to a restaurant where 8 people sit around the cook who cooks up your food in front of you. We sat down and wondered who we would end up sharing our dinner with. Well in walked a family with five kids and one of them an adopted little girl. We saw them and watched in awe as they were seated beside us. We were both speechless. Was it any more clear to us what we were supposed to do? We ended up talking to this couple for an hour about their experience. They gave us their names and number if we had anymore questions. They were Christians as well (and not even Lyndenites!) .
We went to an adoptions info evening in the middle of all this. We filled out a pre application form from Bethany Christian Services and they told us we were very qualified. They gave us a list of the countries we were eligible for. China was on the list! We told them we were definitely interested in China. We were then given a more elaborate application to fill out for China. We filled out and they came back to us and told us that my epilepsy might pose some problems. China is very fussy when it comes to anything medical. They want the parents to be perfectly healthy and not on any prescription drugs. Bethany told us to prevent heartache to get a letter from my Doctor stating that I was perfectly healthy enough to take care of a child. (Hello! I had three boys that I take care of every day) the letter was sent to Bethany China Team in China. Since they deal with The CCCWA every day they could give us a pretty good idea how they would respond to our application. We heard back the next day with not very good news. They said it was highly unlikely we would get a child from China. The only way was if we were open to special focus children (older and higher needs). We were devastated and confused. If we felt called to go to China why was this not going well. I was so certain my epilepsy would not be an issue. I assumed wrong. Maybe God wasn't calling us to China, maybe we had to look at other countries and options. Maybe this meant we shouldn't adopt. Everything was uncertain again. Just when we felt we knew exactly where to go. We decided to leave it all alone for a while. I just didn't want to think or talk about it.
After a couple of weeks we decided we still felt called to do SOMETHING. We went over some other options but none of them really felt right. I started looking into special focus children and what it was all about and how serious we're these medical issues. Meanwhile we kept on praying. After doing research we decided that a lot of these medical issues weren't as scary as we thought and could be managed. I also kept reminding myself that I too was a special focus child. :)
That brings us to now. We have agreed to look into receiving a special focus child if China will accept our application. We are meeting with Bethany's International rep in Seattle next week Wed, to discuss all of this.
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