This will probably be my (Michelle) last post in China. Just wanted to say a few things about Anna and her Nevus. Anna has a Giant Congenital Nevus. She was born with it. She has what many call a Cape Nevus, because it goes up her back and over her shoulders and looks like a superhero cape. (Which is appropriate considering everything she's been through, she IS a superhero) she also has other "spots" varying in sizes, called satellites. As she gets older she might get many more. Please talk to your children about this so they know she has a big birthmark, and it doesn't hurt her. Though now that she's had skin grafting her back and side do hurt. Take care not to rub her back or squeeze her too much. Please respect her story, please don't ask us about her abondonment. That is her story and hers alone. If she wants to tell others when she's older that will be her decision. I know it's asked not with bad intentions and just out of curiosity. Please don't ask us or her to lift her shirt to look at it. Kids (and adults) can be curious but it is her body and we have to protect her and teach her that we respect her privacy as others should as well. We are happy to talk about her Nevus but please be careful when you ask questions. She understands more than you think. Her Nevus grows course hair so don't be shocked about that. We do plan to keep it shaved but for now we are not. Because of the surgeries she has had we will be seeing a multitude of Drs and Specialists in Seattle. We will be taking one day at a time with her. We ask that you continue to keep her in your prayers especially as she does NOT like Doctors
We will also be laying low with just our family for a while. Our boys will not be having friends over and we won't be taking visitors. She's had people coming and going in her life since she was born, she needs to learn that WE are her family. Please don't give her food or presents. You can give them to us to give to her. We are her providers, she needs to know that. She needs to learn what a family is, what it means to have a mom and dad who take care of her and protect her.
As she settles in more and attachment has been more established we will be more lax about it. We have no problem with people meeting her and saying hello, maybe at school or church when we take her but don't attempt to pick her up, she will not react well to that!
Thank you for all your prayers and understanding in this!! Do not be offended if she doesn't even want to look at you. It's our prayer that in due time she will be fully comfortable with our community and she will know we are trustworthy and we will never leave her.
Until then, we thank God for all of your support!!
Oh, how we wished we could have written a "memo" like this to everyone before they met Keziah, with her CMN being on her face. I am thankful you can do this, and I pray people will adhere to it. We were also very picky about how involved people were in Keziah and Lincoln's life, as we knew attachment to us was vital. One of our "rules" was no one was allowed to feed them except Nathan or I, a rule that may have bothered family and friends, but a rule that we felt so important to keep in order to encourage attachment and their knowledge of who were their parents/caregivers. Ryan and Michelle, you guys are doing a great job being Anna's (and your family's) advocate. May God continue to bless you in this role!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this Michelle, we know it can't be easy. Praying for you all. May you be blessed with a safe and smooth trip home!
ReplyDeleteTake care, Karla
Good on you, Michelle! Your message is important and well-written! An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as they say. Safe travels! We so look forward to seeing you soon! ❤️ ❤️
ReplyDeletehow could anyone be offended ? this is your mandate to protect and care for her lovingly , and you are !!!
ReplyDeleteTotally understand. I was wondering when you were going to tell people. I was going to ask you before how long down the road you'll be booking in people for visits! hahaha. you'll have to keep us updated on how it's going at home. We loved following you guys on this journey. awesome. I'll be doing some research on this birthmark because i have tons of questions but I won't drain you with them. Love you guys. We'll continue to pray for God's loving care over you all and may God grant you all you need as you settle in as a family of 6.
ReplyDeleteWow what a beautiful, well thought and perfectly written post. Anna is great hands and already you can see in her eyes, how well she is doing. May God continue to bless you thru these days of transitioning to a new country for her and adjusting to family life. Safe travels.
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